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Dear Abby talks about Mediating Divorce

by on April 1st, 2011

I recently saw someone who wrote in to  the Dear Abby column  explaining that he wanted to mediate his divorce but  his wife told him that if he wanted a divorce that he would need to go get an attorney.  Abby, in her infinite wisdom responded:

I have seen both kinds of divorces — one in which the warring spouses spent so much money in litigation there was little left for each of them when it was over; and the other, in which the couple agreed their marriage was broken beyond repair and arranged their divorce with as little cost as possible. I don’t have to tell you which people are doing well now. So clip this and share it with your wife.

Abby gave some great advice to those that are looking to get divorced.  As both an attorney and a mediator in Arizona, I have seen both the most amicable of divorces and the most contentious ones as well.  In divorce mediation, both parties will work together to amicably resolve the marriage.  While divorce is never emotionally without painl, the divorce mediation process creates an atmosphere that facilitates successful resolutions with as much positive feelings as possible.  I have seen more than one “high-five” at the end of a successful divorce mediation, as well as smiles and even laughter during mediation process.  Divorces do not have to be traumatic experience.

By contrast, I have seen how litigated divorces can ruin people and their children.  I have seen each party spend over $40,000.00 on fees and costs related to the divorce in six months.  I have seen people’s lives be consumed by the divorce for over a year (and for many years after the divorce).  I have seen children become the biggest victims of their parents’ fighting.

Mediation is the sane and healthy way to resolve family law disputes.  Of course, both parties have to agree to it.  If you would like to mediate your dispute, and the other party is resistant, in the wise words of Abby, “clip this and share it…” If you are on your computer just click the like button on this post.

Alona M. Gottfried is a family law mediator and attorney in Arizona.  If you have questions about mediation, she can be reached at: 480-998-1500 or  This is a general interest article only and is not intended to be legal advice.  See a legal professional before making legal decisions.

Simmons & Gottfried, PLLC
8160 E. Butherus Dr., Suite #7
Scottsdale, AZ 85260

(480) 998-1500

One Comment
  1. I suoppse that sounds and smells just about right.

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